Tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day.   In the early 50’s I was tasked as an elementary school student to prepare and read an essay on the subject of the  Thanksgiving Day holiday.  I remember I approached the subject from a historical perspective, traced the celebration from Plymouth through Washington ( Lincoln’s decision to nationalize the holiday and set the date) to, at that time,  the “modern” celebration, of Thanksgiving.  For a lot of families, that means the three  F’s, family, food, football.  Nothing wrong with that, enjoyed it myself with the changing family over 60+ years.

My family did change, now that I reflect back on it.  As a child, we gathered with G-parents, aunts and uncles, cousins in one of  the ” old ” family homes, brought Mom’s favorite contribution, said goodbye to her for a few hours as she disappeared with the other women to cook, and sought the company of cousins of similar age to play games or other pursuits, mischievous  or not, inside or outside.  If the numbers permitted, and, depending upon the ages present, separation into groups of  boys and girls,  perhaps, boys versus girls. There was always  an image of that golden brown turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy in my mind, reinforced by the tantalizing aromas coming from the kitchen.  The adults had a large table, elegantly set, we either sat at card tables pushed together with folding chairs, or at the big kitchen table at Grandpa Keeslings farmhouse.  Separation of the generations was a great advantage for us kids, reminders of manners and proper behavior were mostly absent.  Grandpa, Dad, and uncles could later be seen stretched out with loosened belts in front of a TV “watching” football.  “Watching” can take place with closed eyes and open mouths.  As a kid I didn’t know that, but now I have first hand knowledge that it is, no only, possible, but quite enjoyable.

Gradual changes in “family” occurred as I got older.  The smug college student disdainfully engaged in word games with his “less sophisticated” parents before during and after the meal and couldn’t wait to return to the college atmosphere where his superior intellect could be displayed.  Any interchange with cousins was usually swapping stories of college escapades, basically of one conquest, academic-athletic-social, after another.  Well, medical school took me down several pegs.  The work, fatigue, and cut-throat competition, made me appreciate the ” safe haven, “and  the comforting acceptance of the family gathering of Thanksgiving.

With a growing family of my own, somewhat isolated by geography and the demands of my practice, and with the passing on of grandparents, the holiday was changed further.  My wife and I were responsible for the place, pace, and grace of the celebration.  The thankfulness was still sincere.  The smaller group allowed inclusion of all ages at “the” table.  Our attempt at a homestead lifestyle in New England seemed to fit the history of the celebration.  And, the following Sunday, Advent, introduced the Christmas season with gentle reverence.

Over the ensuing years, children growing into parents, my generation grew into the Grandparent position.  The holiday is still celebrated.  Family gathers from far and near, four generations often represented.  Food and football are still prominent.  But there are differences.  We are bombarded with advertising that seems to have wholly changed Thanksgiving into the beginning of the commercial frenzy that Christmas has turned into.  Thanksgiving Day sales, starting in the evening( who knows, maybe before the dishes are cleared), have already supplanted Black Friday, the biggest retail sales day each year.  Not to be outdone, other sellers have begun “Black Friday ” sales a week before Thanksgiving, even online.

Thus, my entreaty to put the fourth F in the celebration of Thanksgiving, Faith.  Faith in our fathers, or forefathers, including those who took part in the first Thanksgiving.  Whether we are descended from Mayflower travelers, pre-Revolution immigrants, or 20th century immigrants, we can look back at the Plymouth pilgrims and be thankful they persevered, be thankful that native Americans helped them survive, be thankful that their descendents, and others were responsible for the beginning of this wonderful country.  Those who fought for independence,  who developed our Constitution,  who fought to maintain our independence and extraordinary freedoms deserve our thanks.

Yet, the transformation of Thanksgiving into a massive buying opportunity is not my only cause for dismay.  I read of an elementary school that has succumbed to pressure from various do-good organizations (do-no-good, I think) and done away with their annual Thanksgiving pageant because of the “inaccurate” portrayal of native Americans, and their role in the first feast as well as the subsequent treatment of native Americans through history.  Good grief, does anyone here have a sense that something good came from that feast?  Has political  correctness and sensitivity reached such an extreme that children cannot recreate to the best of their abilities a special time in American history, even if they cannot guarantee that it is perfectly accurate?

Faith, faith in God, a desire for religious freedom, the possibility to live without the fear of religious persecution in a new place was a primary reason for establishment of colonies in the America, especially in New England.  That the  Thanksgiving holiday precedes Advent, the beginning of the celebration of the birth of Christ, seems most appropriate.  My thankfulness on this day is for our collective heritage, and for our freedoms, including that freedom to worship without fear of regulation or persecution.  My faith in a forgiving God, in his Son, Jesus, began in childhood has grown throughout my life.  The love of beauty, the innate sense of justice, the joy of relationships including friends and family are all evidence of God’s influence, His work.

So, my Thanksgiving prayer, grace at a meal, thoughts at the rare quiet times in these times, includes thankfulness for the courage and perseverance of the Pilgrims, the wisdom of the Founding Fathers, the sacrifice of those who fought and are fighting for our freedoms, and the opportunity to continue to enjoy the forgiveness of God.  Amen.

We are hosting the family Thanksgiving Day extravaganza this year.  It rotates through the three females of the eight siblings , all but one living in the same county.  Our 91 yo matriarch will be the Grand Marshal.  We divide the work up.  We, the family, divide the work.  Wife ( she told me she prefers anonymity) will provide home, tables and chairs, dishes, linen, and silver, drinks( except for the wine), music, turkey, stuffing, potatoes, gravy, green bean casserole, pumpkin cheesecake, and assorted accessories for the expected 25 attendees, all with big smiles and bigger appetites.   Sisters bring salad, wine, cranberries, chargers and decorations for the tables.  Brothers get to bring beer if they want,children, and the TV football schedule.  Did I tell you I  cook?  Yes I “get” to do the shopping, do the turkeys, stuffing, and gravy, peel the potatoes, and open the French fried onions for the green been cass.   I really do enjoy it, though my enjoyment would increase if wife did not threaten me with bodily harm if I ” mess” with the traditional, tried and true family recipes.

See, I am an experimenter in the kitchen.  Here’s the story.  My earliest cooking experiences came during high school when my mother was hospitalized for heart surgery, a long stay, even longer convalescence.  My sister, two years my senior,  was away ( Indiana) in college. My Dad and I shared kitchen duty in NJ. He contributed what he remembered of his Polish immigrant mother’s cooking (Brooklyn), and I tried to imitate to the best of my minimal ability the dishes my mother and her mother made, Midwestern farm fare.  It was an interesting combo, but satisfying.  We had many well meaning neighbors.  But both Dad and I got tired of the ” just throw it in the oven for 45 min.” casseroles delivered every day or two, often discovered on the back stoop when I came home from my after school job.  So, weedays, I would fare for myself, as my father would stay down in Philadelphia, near the hospital, weekends we shared the duty, at home.

Phase two in my culinary arts self education,  was college, after a freshman year of prepaid, mandatory college dining hall food, I began to share some meals with a few friends in our rudimentery frat house kitchen, again, “interesting” but filling.  We shared shopping duty, costs, kitchen efforts, and ideas about how to keep it tasty, fast, and cheap.   It worked for us in our northern New England men-only college.  We got mixed reviews from our non-cooking buddies and the occasional female weekend guest.

Phase Three.  Medical school, internship, residencies interrupted my “training “for ten years.  But, in my first years of practice, with a growing family in the Berkshire Hills of MA, new incentives to my continuing education arose.  Wife 1.0 suddenly updated herself to Wife 2.0, forbearing meat, and we started our own little homestead with large gardens, composting, wood heat, the whole thing.  Or at least as close as the free time left over from an 80+hour work week would allow.  We loved it, our three children thrived. BUT, I was not a vegetarian, was not about to become one, and we decided to let the children decide about it when they were older.  If I wanted meat, including seafood, and wanted the kids to have it, I could darn well cook it myself.  Thus the expansion into the world of international cuisine ( beyond the Polish/Midwest American starting point) began.  I had three hungry judges( at times they felt themselves subjects) who were surprisingly open to new tastes.  What could be better, a big country kitchen, a profusion of fresh, home canned, or home frozen produce, and a good meat/seafood market owned by a family of grateful patients.  Wife 2.0 had made herself into a good baker whole grains used in large quantities.  I learned after a while that I could combine some of her vegetarian dishes with my omnivorous style to make meals all could enjoy, and probably a healthier diet, too.  More imaginative use of dairy products, including cheese, whole grains, and legumes resulted.  Voila, everybody happy.  At least with the food.  Other influences caused Wife 2.0 and I to split up.

Begin Phase Four.  After a period of trying to “homestead” on my own, I moved to a lakeside bachelor retreat that the kids and I used as a party palace on weekends.  The situation spurred me to greater efforts at providing even more special experiences, including food, during the shorter and more infrequent times we got together.  They were soon off to college in different states, but a new opportunity to show off my increasing skills in the kitchen arrived…girlfriends.  (About this time my friends began to say that I would someone a great wife, ha ha.)

I have skipped a few phases, but this post has gone on too long. It is a long way around to why I call myself an experimenter. Never satisfied with a recipe, either borrowed or invented, I add or change ingredients, seasoning, cooking method, etc.  I am often asked to make something again and again, but find it difficult to comply completely, feeling a certain change might improve the result.  Wife ( present and forever) has remarked that I should write things down more often so that  a sauce or dish would turn out ” the same as the last time.”

That is why I am under orders: Don’t mess with the turkeys, stuffing, gravy, etc. , no surprises whether they taste fine or not!

Next Door, a neighborhood email network, has several branches in PB here in San Diego.  I think it started up in the Bay Area.  Anyhow, it serves as a community forum for various issues, such as a lost and found, especially for pets, as a bulletin board ( want ads, garage sales,etc.),  and I my case, a source of laughs shared with my wife.  Some ar serious topics.  Thus,  NDPBPP.

As a retiree, I have plenty of free time to read and write, somewhat disdainful of TV programming other than sports and old movies.  Those that contribute to NDPB seem to have even more than me, unless they intersperse ND with work, or other pursuits.  Certainly when I was working in medicine, I did not have time to sift through the numerous posts and answer them as often as some of my neighbors do.  Some issues are important and require serious and thoughtful consideration.  All too often, however, the response to an issue is not thoughtful or serious.  Knee jerk reactions, personal insults, and bickering often result.

A recent thread involves the “threat ” Pitbull terriers bring to the neighborhood.   Some say this breed should always be muzzled when off their home property.  One opinion was that this breed should be “illegal”.    Some say that if pittbulls are muzzled, then all dogs should be muzzled, just to be fair.  But, others say that goes too far, after all, poodles and shih tzus don’t maul children and kill.  When I was a kid, dark ages, I know, this same talk took place concerning German shepards, later, the same with Dobermans.  Dog bite is a big problem in CA,  tops the list of causes of personal injury lawsuits.  The breed of dog most often involved?  It is the loveable Golden Retriever!  Most breeds are territorial, somewhat protective, and need to be “socialized”(the current buzz word).  Most are easily trained, most want to please their owners (or should I say, pet parents).  I love dogs, lived with various breeds in my home most of my life.  I have cuddled with a Pitbull , not my own, been bitten by poodles, miniature Schnauzers, and Daschunds.  Some of the most placid, lazy easy going dogs I see in PB are pitbulls.

My wife was attacked by two pitbulls who “lived” next door.  Our neighbor spent no time with the dogs, they were not trained or disciplined in any way, did not know any boundaries.  He teased them.  I am surprised they did not bite him. The animal’s behavior depends in large part upon the owner’s attitude, his or hers willingness to work with the dog, and his or hers willingness to take responsibility for the dog’s potential actions.

Muzzle the dogs or educate the owners/parents?  Hopefully a reasonable approach, maybe compromise, will result.

I have been exploring the various options for site appearance, but I do not know if the changes I made ( or didn’t make) will be visible on my site. The words are, of course, the important part, but it would be nice to make it visually attractive, also.  That said, I’ll start.

My friends and family know how this retired doctor, who was in Pittsfield, MA for thirty years, ended up in San Diego, CA, but I will briefly explain that I came out here in the winter of 2004, on vacation, and did not want to go back to the snow, cold, and ice. I met my future wife, settled in Coronado for a while, and now, married in 2011,  we are happy residents of Pacific Beach ( PB).

Sitting here, the early morning sunlight streaming into the room, I enjoy the palms, the birds at the feeders and fountain.  The quiet morning is perfect for reflection on the past and how best to allow my children to share my memories of our family, my thoughts on the present, and hopes for the future.  That, I think, will be the main content of this blog, with pretty frequent comments on current events.

We are pretty busy here making preparations for the  usual huge Thanksgiving gathering here in PB.  25 to 30 will be coming down from the Oceanside area, including “E”, the 91 year old matriarch.  The holidays, graduations, weddings, etc. are all times for the family to gather, eat, drink, and enjoy each other’s company.  Politics, sports,  work, children and grand children are favorite topics.  It is always fun.   I really enjoy cooking for a large group, ” big food!”,   But sometimes, even in our our large and well eguipped kitchen, we are challenged for burner and over space.  It always works out, everyone pitches in, no one goes home without a tight waistband nor without a package of leftovers.

For my kids and grand children, please excuse the sentiments, but here is the straight poop from the old man.  I have decided to share, whether it is worthwhile or not, my thoughts and feelings on various issues, my recollections of past events and, hopefully helpful opinions on current and past history.  Our ancestors( family in the past) had a n amazing wisdom that we have strayed from to a greater or lesser degree and are paying the price of our  mistakes.  This the theme of my “sharing”.  A great deal is to follow, if I live long enough.