Oh dear, I must have deleted, accidentally, the post I was working on.  Well, here is the updated version.  The subject, getting a dog.  Wife and I have been together for almost eleven years.  Only recently, we have been talking about getting a pet, a dog.  I grew up with pets, dogs, cat,  tropical fish, hamptsers, andthe other temporary types, frogs,  rescued birds, and kittens.  Having a pet in the house seems natural to me.  Unfortunately, not to Wife.  “They are animals!” That pretty well sums up her feelings about pets.  They can be cute, lovable, fun, but they do not belong in the house, on the furniture, around your feet.  They cannot make a sound during quiet times, and they need to be trained by me to stop at thresholds, boundaries and stay in a crate when their prescience is not appreciated.

Of course, my feelings about a dog are quite different.  I grew up with dogs, first a mutt named Sandy, (guess why,) then a Springer Spaniel who lived and shared our next 17 years.  Once established in a home as an adult, we had a Husky, along with a Golden, and then an English setter, along with various numbers of cats, (as many as twelve, including kittens), hampsters, and snakes (which my son collected in the yard and woods.)

Wife, on the other hand, did not grow up with pets.  Her family during her”growing up” was large, urban, and primarily concerned with the nearby beach and sports.  Pets were not in the picture.  She did, as an adult, have an “outside) cat which disappeared during a remodel, and that is it.  So, the difference in attitude.  She never had the opportunity to bond with a dog, be the close companion with an animal who loves you, is loyal, never makes demands beyond food, shelter, and shared time.

OK, so, what is the problem?  Are you kidding?  Major culture clash!  The dog must act like a person, but be only a part time participant in our “human” activity. (  Not that I want to sleep with a dog on the bed, share my meals with the dog, or spend all my time with the dog, but dogs often want to do those things with their companions. ) So the line must be drawn.  I do not want to feel guilty about the dog acting like a dog, I do not want to be in the position of apologizing for the dogs transgressions.  There is no wiggle room in our discussions so far, and I am hesitant to push.

Now, why did the “pet” subject come up anyway?  I have had a few medical issues lately, including a recurrence of depression requiring medication and counseling.  A daily companion appeared to be a good adjunct to my therapy, brought up by more than one person.  Thus the problem.  I would love to have a dog, as a companion, as someone to share my considerable free time every day.  Sure, I take walks, putter in the garden and yard, do housework,  write, read, buy groceries, cook, etc.  My time IS filled.” But much of that time, many of those activities could be shared with a dog, and thereby made more enjoyable.  So, where do we go from here.

I told wife after our last discussion that it seemed that a dog would bring up,points of contention that were not now a problem, and my potential enjoyment  was not worth the potential strife.  Not surprisingly, Wife did not object.

So, no dog.